


Ｐｕｍｐｉｎ＇ Ｂｌｏｏｄ

by GGonzalez303



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Faerie Luna Lovegood, Family Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Hermione is an Unspeakable, Luna and Harry are parents, Master of Death Harry Potter, No Epilogue, Non-Canon Relationship, Plot? What Plot?, Possible Crossover, Post-War, Time travel? Maybe?, World Take Over (Accidentally On Purpose)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GGonzalez303/pseuds/GGonzalez303
Summary: Luna Lovegood gives Harry the one thing he wanted since forever - a break.-or-In which the Faerie kidnaps the Master of Death, sends the Wizarding World into a panic, and they accidentally adopt a child which leads to an accidental world take over... oh dear.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Original Male Character(s), Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. In Which the Faerie Stole Death - and He Was Okay With It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mytimeconsumingsidehobby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytimeconsumingsidehobby/gifts).



> Purely for my own amusement. A crack fic without plot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna kidnaps Harry, and he is okay with it - for the most part.

_May 2nd of 1998; Hogwarts_

* * *

_**LUNA LOVEGOOD FOUND HERSELF IN THE FOREST WITH A CONTENT SMILE UPON HER FACE.**_ The Nargles spoke to her in hushed whispers and she nodded. She knew, as well, that Death needed a rest. Felt it in the air, when Magic spiked and the Rotfang Leader fell down dead. So, they led her from the emptiness of the Forbidden Forest to the Headmaster's office.

"Hello, Harry Potter," she greeted him while floating up to stand right next to him.

"Hi, Luna," Harry replied as he pet Fawkes. The battle won and yet it was time for the phoenix to be reborn once more. She felt it in the air, they both did. "Do you need something?" He asked as he turned his leafy eyes onto her. She knew the dull tone in his voice was not one of annoyance but being genuinely tired. Everyone else seemed to have gotten a second wind after living through the ordeal. Tears shed throughout the halls and drinking songs sung at the crumbling rafters. People were _alive_ , and that's all that mattered.

To rest of them at least, that was all that mattered. Harry needed rest and there was only one way to ensure he'd get it.

"Oh yes," Luna opted to answer. "Everyone needs something, but, from you, Harry Potter, I don't need or want anything. You gave me about everything I could ask from you by being my friend." She watched in amusement as Harry looked like he was going to object to something that she said, but she did not care. Well, to rephrase that, Luna _did_ care - but she needed him to listen to her so she continued. "I have something I want to offer you."

"What's that?" Harry blinked owlishly.

"Would you, Harry James Potter, like to be stolen by me?"

"Stolen?" She watched as his amusement grew ever so slightly. The blonde only grinned as well. She knew in the beginning, when they spoke only, that he was like her. If not in the sense of species, then in the sense of world view, and she quite liked that. Despite his instance of survival causing him to be average, which annoyed her to no end, she was offering the chance to be done pretending - and he knew that.

"Yes, Harry, stolen - or is the right word kidnapped?"

"Kidnapped, Luna," he answered with a bit of laughter. "But if I were to say yes, where would we go?"

Her silver eyes lit up at the question. "Well, it depends upon if you're saying yes or not. If you are saying yes, I'd have to stop by the Rookery and get some clothes. From there, we can go wherever," the blonde in question grinned in a mischievous way. "And, we'll take the Muggle way so then Heliopaths and the new king won't be able to find you. What do you say?"

"Wherever?"

"Of course, Harry Potter, wherever. I heard visiting Greece was a particularly good way to get rid of Wrackspurts. They hate archipelagos in Southern Europe." She held out her hand for him to take. "With the wards down, we can apparate."

"Greece, huh?"

"Oh yes, I certainly plan bring you everywhere you haven't been as well as everywhere I have never been. And Sweden, if we have time to hunt for the Crumple-Horned Snorckack." While the Ravenclaw herself has never been to Sweden, she kept it separate as it was for her own reasons that she'd take him there. Her father would be ever so pleased if she found a Crumple-Horned Snorckack, especially since her mother always wanted to find one.

Luna observed her friend as his beautiful emerald eyes clouded over with thought. He ran a hand through his hair, but it didn't matter. Even if she wasn't reading him for wounds that needed healing or for hugs that need to be given, she could see plain as day the bags beneath his eyes. The thinness of his frame, too, was prevalent more so than it had in other meetings, and the hair was oily and disheveled. An undesirable frown even graced his face for a moment before a spectacular grin chased it away.

"Well, then I accept your offer, Luna." He smiled at her and placed his hand in hers. "You can kidnap me."

Without another word, two friends left the office with a _crack_ and a pleased squawking of an old phoenix.

* * *

_May 2nd 1998; Hogwarts, The Great Hall_

* * *

_**HERMIONE GRANGER WATCHED ON FROM A DISTANCE.**_ She no longer felt like she should be there - watching all the lovers reuniting and the families mourning and the teenagers drinking towards survival. She felt out of step. No one went through the pain she did and yet they all did. How could that even be possible? Group trauma of some kind, perhaps? She'd need to look into it.

But then again, perhaps her outsider-ness was for the sole fact that she had no one to celebrate with anymore. No parents to come home and hug. No cousins to tell vague versions of her adventures to until they changed the subject to boys and teased her about getting a boyfriend. No more chess games that she always lost to her grandfather. All of them, she obliviated and sent them away - some to America, others to Ireland, more to Canada, and, finally, Wendel and Jean Granger to Australia. She felt out of place because she had no one else.

Perhaps, save Harry and Ron.

But Ron was confusing her and she was still quite angry at him for running out on her and Harry. And he needed to grieve. He lost his brother.

Harry needed - Hermione couldn't honestly tell you what Harry needed, but she knew where he was. So, with the determination to make sure she was not alone or he wasn't alone (however you'd like to see it), except when she got to the Headmaster's office, he wasn't there.

The magic in the air shifted, as it was prone to do when those of high magical prowess left the vicinity, and only one thought crossed her mind.

 _Where_ did her best friend just go?

* * *

_May 3rd 1998; Grimmuald Place_

* * *

_**AS IT SO HAPPENED,**_ Kreature and Winky were tasked by Master Harry and Mistress Luna to do two things while they were away.

First, they were to remodel the house however they saw fit. The only stipulation was that Mistress Luna requested of Winky to talk Kreature into brighter colors than an almost-white-grey. Winky, who vowed to drop the bottle as apart of her contract with Mistress Luna, only saluted and gave the best nod she could attempt without hurting her head. "Is will, Missy Luna!" Winky promised.

(Kreature refused when Winky asked nicely the first time. The second time, Kreature ended up suspended to the ceiling for about four hours. He agreed to whatever Winky suggested after that.)

The second task was to tell any and all those who asked that they were out and would not be coming back for the foreseeable future, so don't look for them. That was what they attempted when a troop of redheads appeared in Grimmauld Place with a _crack_ and amongst their construction zone.

This was what _inevitably_ happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update this whenever the muse hits me or I need something particularly fluffy. I am gifting this story to mytimecomsumingsidehobby because their fanfic, That Universe Over There, is honestly my favorite and quite the riot.


	2. "HARRY'S GONE?!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, the Wizarding World found out that Harry's gone. What happens to poor Winky and Kreature now that they must deal with the overly-hysterical Molly Weasely?

_May 3rd 1998; Ottery St. Catchpole; the Burrow_

* * *

_**IT WAS A SOMBER MORNING AND MOLLY WEASLEY WAS DETERIMINED TO MAKE SURE ALL OF HER KIDS HAD A HEARTY ENOUGH MEAL.**_ They lost so many people over the last two days that she wondered if she ought to cook at all or just sleep in. She killed too, not that Bellatrix's death was a remorse. It was her or Ginny and that should never be a question. Morals about fighting and children and what was acceptable and what wasn't be damned.

Molly sighed.

That's the thing about death, wasn't it?

It took and it took everything and it took without judgement or prejudice. Everyone would die at some point and the cloaked figure didn't care when or where it took you.

Just like everyone else after the war, Molly wanted peace and rest and time to mourn. Her son this time around, her brothers from the last civil war, her friends that fought and died in both - Molly Weasley wanted, no, _needed_ time to mourn them all. However, a mother's work was never done and (apparently) began at eight o'clock that morning.

" _Harry's gone!_ " The voice of Hermione Granger rang out as her otter Patronus swam around the redheaded matron. " _He's not in his room in the Leaky Cauldron or at Hogwarts or at Grimmauld Place! I checked everywhere!_ " While everyone knew Harry wouldn't be at the Burrow, he'd keep his distance so the family could breathe and grieve and support one another, Molly was slightly offended that Hermione hadn't bothered to check over here. The wisp of bright blue light disappeared after her frantic message had been heard.

"I need some bloody scotch," the matriarch of the Weasleys muttered before grabbing her wand from its place in the kitchen utensil holders. " _Expecto Patronum_ ," she said, but nothing came from the wand. Just a barely effective waif of light seemed to make an appearance. Sighing once more, she grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and threw that into the fireplace. "Leaky Cauldron, room 206," she requested of the fire.

 _Then things went_ _boom_.

* * *

_May 3rd 1998; Gringotts Bank, London Branch_

* * *

_**THE BANK ITSELF SEEMED TO WELCOMED THE BLONDE WITCH,**_ and Harry cowered slightly at the grins that graced their faces. "Miss Lovegood, I assume it's time," one of the tellers said without any indication of any emotion... with the exception of the creepy grin.

"Of course, Mr. Ironhand," Luna answered with a bow. "And may the gold always multiply as your enemies are conquered," she added once she rose from her bow. The grin of the Goblin only grew at the young woman.

"And I wish that the stars never go out and that the forest may never die, Goblin-Friend," Ironhand replied.

Harry was just at loss for words. What the hell was going on? But Luna seemed to take the well-wishes in stride and grinned in her own feral manner. "My people thank you, Faerie-Friend."

"Wait, you're a Faerie?" Harry asked as he blinked owlishly at her. For some reason, he found it making sense. She saw things others didn't and seemed much more at home in Nature than anywhere else.

"Oh yes, Harry Potter," Luna replied before being ushered into the back of the bank.

* * *

_May 3rd 1998; Grimmuald Place, London_

* * *

_**WINKY MET WITH THE LARGE GROUP OF RED-HAIRED MAGICALS IN THE FOYER.**_ She was not happy.

No, Winky was not happy in the slightest.

The matron of the Red Pandas apparated right into Mistress Luna's paints she did. Then, and only then, did Kreature choose to make himself known and screamed at the Red Pandas for interrupting the cleanings of the kitchen. "What's going on here?" The leader of the Pandas demanded shrilly.

"Paintings except you wastes the paint!" Winky replied in an equally shrill voice.

The humans and Kreature at least had the decency to cover their ears.

"Why are you paintin'?" One of the redheads asked. Keature seemed to recognize him better than Winky because he then went into another rage over him and how he should have let Kreature finish what Master Regulus started.

"Because Mistress Luna and Master Harry asked us to do so while they're gone," Winky even lifted her crooked nose imperiously at the humans.

"Where did Harry and Luna go?" A younger redheaded woman asked quietly.

"Thats wes don't know. Only that theys gone and will be for a while-"

"HARRY'S GONE?!" The older woman shrieked.

Winky sent a look to Kreature and he nodded. With a snap of his fingers, all of the Red Pandas went to sleep. They put them each in a guest room and then began brewing tea. Once the kettle was on, they returned to their painting.

It took them about two hours, but the foyer was now a calming lavender color and the door a bright blue. " _Bright colors keep away the Motleycooks and other creatures that will hurt Harry with his current state of mind_ ," Mistress Luna told Winky before they left with a wink. Looking around the portion of the house, the House Elf grinned. Mistress and Master would be proud of Winky, theys would!

Sadly, the happiness and the quiet ended as the shrieking noises of a young man could be heard from the upstairs. "SPIDER!"

"Is dealt with them the last time Is did," Kreature called from the kitchen. "Yous head Elf, yous deal with the Red Pandas."

Sighing, Winky trudged up the stairs.

* * *

_May 5th 1998; The Ministry of Magic, Kingsley's Office_

* * *

_**KINGSLEY PACED THE LENGTH OF HIS OFFICE.**_ Hermione Granger already left with a solemn look to her face and he fought the urge to set something on fire. Apparently, Harry Potter was no where to be found in Wizarding Britain. Even Molly Weasley could not find the boy when he asked her about it. Apparently the House Elves in Potter's employ didn't even know.

Kingsley even went so far as asking the Goblins, who refused to answer his questions on grounds of client confidentiality. Something that Goblins prided themselves on in order to keep the Gringotts treasures safe. With all of his options exhausted, he did what every normal, elected official would do in his place. He stressed about his office, pacing, as if the answer would magically come to him because - despite being an amazing general - he was a terrible political leader.

He needed to call a press meeting to get in front of this and handle the backlash that would be the Savior of the Wizarding World disappearing from the country just after his -

"Minster," Percy Weasley shot through his door and placed _the Daily Prophet_ down on his desk. "Read the front page."

> **HARRY POTTER GONE!**
> 
> _By Allison Hargreeves_
> 
> _Harry Potter is gone! He has left the British Wizarding community in this exclusive, tell-all letter sent early this morning to the Prophet! In the letter, Harry Potter told the Wizarding Community that he has done all that was required of him and that he pleads for a break. The letter itself was jinxed so that those who read it, and therefore know his location, would suffer under a day of humiliating events. So, my dear readers, I am sorry to state that I cannot tell you where he is._
> 
> _However, I can tell you that he is well and safe. From a direct quote from the letter, Harry Potter himself states:_
> 
> _" To those it will concern, I am safe and well. A friend and I have decided that, after giving seven years of my life to your community because of a bloody prophecy that you all put too much stock in, after seven years of loosing people who meant the world to me, and after seven years of tears, I require a break. Never once in my life have I seen the sea. Nor have I been to a beach. Nor have I left the country._
> 
> _ So, I have been spirited away by a Faerie who agrees. I deserve a break. I promise I am safe, and I shall keep in touch with you all through either  _ the Daily Prophet _or_ the Quibbler. _But, please do not expect me back any time soon._ _"_
> 
> _I think it is safe to say, that, if you read the letter, you would understand that we ought to give him what he asks of us...._
> 
> _I wonder what the Ministry will have to say now that the Boy-Who-Conquered left during this tumultuous time for them._
> 
> _(More to be read on page six.)_

"You mean to tell me-"

"Oh, yes. And already the Ministry is in an uproar. I worry for what's going on outside the Ministry."

"Well then, get me _the Prophet_ , it's time we make a statement."


	3. Greece, Goblins, and Adoptions -- Oh My (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Harry and Luna are in Greece, the Gringotts Goblins are scheming to help the Master of Death take his rightful place... for a price of course. Meanwhile, our intrepid heroes discuss inheritances, titles, and a letter sent by the Goblins just that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ACCIDENTAL BABY ACQUISITION TIME!
> 
> (Part One)

* * *

_May 14th 1998; Andros Island, Greece_

* * *

_**HARRY LAYED ON A BEACH, ENJOYING THE SUN ON HIS SKIN.**_ It felt comforting. The rays lulled him into a sort of slumber -- or the edges of it at least. He wasn't sleeping, nor was he awake. "Harry Potter," Luna called to him from wherever he tettered. "Harry, it's time for lunch," she tried once more.

The boy just barely opened his eyes. The sunlight blinding as he forced himself to sit up. His entire being felt lethargic. After months of running and frozen dirt beds, he was slow to get up. Muscles felt both sore and tight now that they had a chance to rest. "But I was resting," he moaned in a teenager-type annoyance and slight bristled at her laughter. He knew Luna wasn't laughing at him.

Luna never laughed at him.

But he did his best to look annoyed, to which she just answered in turn with, "Stop pouting like a child. We have rice pudding dusted with cocoa powder for lunch!"

"I'm not the one who gets all giddy over pudding," he teased her lightly.

She laughed and helped him up off the sand. When they touched, sparks flit through his nerves and Harry almost jumped back from the sudden electricity. "Will it always be like that?" He asked her quietly.

"No," Luna replied. Her airy manner turned perhaps a bit melancholy. "As far as I am aware, this is a residual affect of the mating bond."

"So, it will go away with time?"

"It should. You see, Harry Potter, magic is a fickle thing. Especially when it's as old as the Fae magic. It will go away eventually, but I cannot say when or how. Grandma even said the she felt it well into her old age."

Harry nodded his head and then smiled. "I'm glad we did this you know," he told her. He couldn't tell how, but he felt like she needed to know. This was Luna after all. She knew everything, but she was still a sentient person that needed to _hear_ things from others. Even if her unconventional way of viewing the world kept her from getting emotionally hurt most of the time.

Her smile lit up the beach and she grabbed his hand once more. Surprisingly, the longer she held on, the more the shock faded away. "Let's go to the house and eat, alright?"

* * *

_May 14th 1998; Gringotts International Bank, Diagon Alley, London, England_

* * *

_**IRONHAND PLAYED WITH THE TINY HUMAN CREATURE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE SEEMED TO WANT TO WATCH IT.**_ He read the note over a thousand times... but it still made no sense to him. A man in a pinstripe suit, with unruly hair and a nonmagical brand sneaker known as Converse, had dropped off a baby with a note saying it be given to (and Ironhand quotes) "one Harry James Potter, Master of Death, and his wife Luna Lovegood, Queen of the Realm". If that wasn't enough to make the Goblin turn to drink, the man's companion was.

None other than Hermione Jean Granger, the Brightest Witch of her Age... except she seemed to be about five years older than she was two weeks ago when she came asking for forgiveness for damages done to the bank.

"Doctor, are you sure this is alright?" She asked as they left the bank.

"Oh yeah, Goblins are trustworthy for the right price. Men of their word, but equally good at crafting it in their favor, you know."

So now here was, playing with a tiny human creature who could barely speak. Instead it blubbered and cooed and he learned that it was quite sensitive to Goblin Magic -- or perhaps just magic in general. Interesting. He glanced over at the note and sighed. By Morgana, what did the Unspeakables expect to happen now?

"You read the note, correct?" Ironhand asked his superior as the male walked into his office.

"Indeed, Sir Ironhand, and I must say that I am surprised at the child's identity."

"I was unaware that Nimue was reborn in this time," Ironhand agreed as he played more with the knives that the Goblins gave their young. He considered giving it to the child. It was his and he had no offspring of his own. His mate having died years before due to an extremely nasty curse from a Wizarding duel that broke out over a will. He made sure all the enchantments stayed in place to protect young ones from being hurt.

 _Perhaps for her name day, when she's a bit older_ , the Goblin thought wryly when the baby began teething on the hilt of another knife he kept on the edge of his desk. Grabbing it away from her at once, he replaced it with the pacifier found in the basket she came it. He needed not to hear her crying after all. "We could use this, you know," Steelblade began with a devious grin spreading across his face.

"The Master Death has finally returned to his rightful place, and now we must help him gain control over Wizarding Britain... and perhaps beyond. Bringing the Goblins to equal footing -- where we belong."

Ironhand nodded dutifully, prepared to hear his role in his superior's scheming. "You shall be the one to hand the child over to the newly mated couple. Send them a letter requesting their immediate return to the Goblin Nation. Also, you shall be named as the child's guardian to the Nation as she shall have duel citizenship within our worlds."

"Yes, my king," Ironhand answered with a bow.

The King left his office, and Ironhand questioned if it was a good time for a stiff drink...

_Then the wailing started again._

"Definitely time for that drink," the Goblin mumbled.

* * *

_May 14th 1998; Madam Tilly's Teashop, Diagon Alley, London, England_

* * *

_**HERMIONE GRANGER'S FOOT BOUNCED IMPATIENTLY AS SHE AWAITED HER INTERVIEWER.**_ The Unspeakables reached out to her via a crow about a week ago telling her to meet them here at exactly noon. She was five minutes early and ordered tea, but it did nothing to calm her nerves.

It was then at exactly noon when a Scottish accent gained her attention. "Miss Granger?"

"Yes?"

"I'm agent Dylan Broadchurch, you may call me, the Doctor," the tall lanky man introduced with a bit of flare.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr Doctor," the brunette stood and raised her hand to shake.

It was an awkward shake. It wobbled as Hermione felt unsure for what this meeting was about. Her heart hammered out of her chest and she felt her grip go slack. But Doctor broke out into a grin, good natured and fun. She felt marginally better. "Welcome to the Unspeakables, Agent Granger."

"Wait, _what_?"

There went that feeling.

* * *

_May 15th 1998; Andros Island, Greece_

* * *

_**LUNA LOVEGOOD AND HARRY POTTER READ THE NOTE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.**_ "They can't be serious," Harry said with a groan.

"They're Goblins, Harry, they are always serious."

"So, back to London?"

"Back to London."

Luna watched as her mate started packing. Sadly, Luna knew they needed to put their travel plans on hold for now. The platinum blonde glanced at the letter in her hand.

> _To Mr Harry James Potter, Master of Death, Lord of Ancient and Noble House of Peverell, Lord of Noble House of Potter, and to Miss Luna Lovegood, Heir Apparent to the Noble House of Lovegood, Future Lady of Houses Peverell and Potter, Future Mistress of Death:_
> 
> _It has come to the attention of the Goblin Nation that we have urgent business to discuss. We apologize, on behalf of Gringotts, to disturb you during your vacation but this is something that cannot wait. Please use to the Floo Network to arrive promptly at eleven fifteen tomorrow morning in Ironhand's office._
> 
> _May your enemies dwindle as swiftly as your glory rises,_
> 
> _Ironhand Gobble-Troph._


	4. Greece, Goblins, and Adoptions -- Oh My (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ironhand, Harry, and Luna become the respective guardians to one reborn baby Nimue. Meanwhile, Hermione finds out that the Unspeakables have been following her since her third year and found her a perfect fit to work in their department.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ACCIDENTAL BABY AQUISITION TIME!  
> (part two)

* * *

_May 16th 1998; Ironhand's Office, Gringotts Bank, Diagon Alley, London, England_

* * *

**_THE TWO MAGICAL HUMANS EXPLODED INTO HIS OFFICE --_** covered in soot and muttering expletives about why no one could just use an airplane. It caused quite a stir for the child, who began wailing the moment the explosion ceased. Almost robotically now, Ironhand went to grab the magic bottle that kept the milk warm for hours on end. He picked up the human child and cooed to her as he promised to slice down her enemies -- even if these two were not among them.

"Sir Ironhand, is that a child?" The future Lady Potter asked in her usual dreamy voice.

He looked between the two magical humans, and Ironhand let out a weary sigh. Only two or three weeks prior were these two here in his office, completing the ritual to forge the mating bond so Miss Lovegood would not become a Muggle -- practically setting their engagement as a result. Now, here they were once more, and it struck Ironhand how young they truly were.

Only seventeen the both of them, and now he must hand over a responsibility that people twice their ages could barely handle?

_Why was Fate always such a cruel being to the Potters and Lovegoods?_

"Yes," Ironhand answered as he kept bouncing the no-longer crying child. "She was dropped off at our offices about two days ago. Along with a note saying to hand her over to 'one Harry James Potter, Master of Death, and his wife, Luna Lovegood, Queen of the Realm'."

"What?" Harry blinked twice. It seemed to Ironhand that the Master of Death's brain stopped processing. The male shook his head. _This is just going swimmingly, Steelblade,_ Ironhand thought wryly.

"You are giving us the child?" Luna followed up. A look in her silvery eyes seemed to have clouded them over as she looked to the human creature in his arms.

"Yes. Her name is Nimue, and the Unspeakables believe that you two are who she must be with."

"We'll take the one child please!" The male exclaimed with unseeing emerald eyes trained passed Ironhand and on the wall.

Ironhand couldn't help but grin at the Master of Death's obvious discomfort at the situation. "Good, there is much to discuss."

* * *

_May 16th 1998; Madam Tilly's Teashop, Diagon Alley, London, England_

* * *

_**"YOU'VE BEEN**_ **WHAT** _ **SINCE I WAS IN**_ **WHAT** _ **YEAR?"**_ Hermione asked in shock. The Doctor only grinned mischievously at her. It did not help the situation at all.

"My superiors, since before even I got the job, have been tailing you since third year. After all, being awarded the Brightest Witch of Your Age title tends to turn a few heads. So, they followed your exploits."

There went the shrug of the pinstripe jacket he wore and the pushing up of his small, rectangular glasses. Hermione blinked several times. She _heard_ what the Doctor told her. She _understood_ what the Doctor told her. But she could not _compute_ what the Doctor told her.

It felt as if the circuitry that made up her brain and body stopped functioning. The voices in the shop all blended together. The brunette heard cackling, sparking noises of magic about to run wild. Something caused her lungs to work ten times harder. The walls compressed in on her.

_Hermione Granger couldn't breathe._

"Hermione! Hermione, look at me!" The voice sounded as if water covered her ears. "Hermione? Are you alright? Hermi—"

It stopped as soon as it started.

"Are you okay?" The Scottish accent filled her head and chased away the strange feeling that started to take over. The brunette just barely nodded before sipping her now long-cold tea.

"So you decided to hire me?" It was phrased like a question, but the two magical humans knew it wasn't. "Why?"

"Well, you're intelligence for one. Your determination for another. And lastly, you're sheer force of will and courage to be reckoned with. Who else can say that they went up against the Ministry and won at sixteen?"

"At least five other people I know," the bushy haired brunette quipped without much heart. A loud bark of laughter erupted from her companion's chest before he gave her another one of those friendly, jovial smiles. Her own laughter bubbled up within her. "Anyway, you sure you want me in your department?" She continued.

"Not just in our department, but as my partner! What do you think?"

Wait— _what_ _?_

* * *

_May 16th 1998; the Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, England_

* * *

_**RONALD WEASLEY WAS A MASTER AT WIZARD CHESS;**_ however, he wasn't sure if he could strategize enough to get him out of this. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUYS ARE MATES? AND ADOPTED A CHILD?" Ginny exclaimed as Luna Lovegood — her best friend — and Harry Potter — her ex that she was ~~_still sort of possibly_ ~~in love with — sat there rather uncomfortably. Ron, despite his lack of some rather necessary common sense, sensed that this could end one of two ways and both required him to calm down his sister.

(Therein laid the problem, ladies and gents.)

"Yes, that is essentially what happened," Luna answered as she stared at the window behind the two Weasleys. "You know the Light Warblers are returning to your home? That's a brilliant thing. They've been returning almost everywhere as of late since the War ended."

Before Ron could cut Ginny off from saying anything about the change of subject, and before his younger (but definitely scariest) sibling could say anything about it as well, the child in the bassinet his mom conjured began to cry. Almost as if he stepped into the future, Ron watched gobsmacked as his best friend immediately picked up the child and rocked it to sleep. "I'd sing to her," Harry said as he was completely entranced by the child, "But Nimue likes Luna's in-tune voice better than mine... and I don't particularly blame her."

"We came here to ask you to be one of the four godparents," Luna piped up after fussing with Nimue's blanket.

Ron watched his sister closely, he readied himself to strike and diffuse the ticking time bomb, but her answered shocked all three teens. "Harry James Potter, you better do your best to take care of Luna and that girl of yours, you hear? If you don't, I will make your life a living hell. It's my duty as best friend and since I am going to be the favorite aunt. Are we understood?"

Harry gulped and Luna launched across the coffee table to give Gin a hug.

(At least no one needed to duel.)


End file.
